What really matters

FIRST OFF....Why can't I load any pictures onto my blog? Can someone please help me? It's driving me crazy!

I am 1 week shy of a 2 month broken back story.....
On May 6 I "fell" and broke my back. Not anything major, but WOW, what an impact. The computer we have at home was dying,and took to long to even bother logging on. When at work I did what I HAD to and left! It was amazing to me how following my favorite blogs didn't matter, checking facebook, or even logging onto my e-mail became something I didn't care about. The fish in Fishville died, and I was happy. It put a few things in perspective, and I am grateful!
Girls Camp was last weekend - and IT WAS AWESOME! I think the closer it got, I was more excited just to go to camp.
Joslynn went with the 5th yr. girls for the retreat on Tuesday night, and that’s when reality set in. I was going to be feeding 400 members....and Jayson, my helper, was working out of town! Whatever was I going to do?
My father let me borrow "Goldie" the awesome gold farm truck...that I look so stinkin' hot in...To gather all the food. Judy, my aunt, came to the rescue with two large white coolers. Kaehla and Teresa SAVED me Friday morning, by helping shred 100lbs of chicken. I could NOT have done it without these people.
When I was called, they asked if I needed a committee, and I being the person that I am said no. I can do this all by myself. PSHHHH....Note to self...delegation is for a reason! :)
However, what I really wanted to write about was the self learning lesson I have encountered over the past two months.
It all started with the back, then not needing the internet, the fight with Jayson about dirt in the yard, and a final high note at Stake Young Women’s Girls Camp.
Breaking my back was hard, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Being told that you can NOT do things, like Saturday Cloroxing aromatherapy is hard for a Type A person. I felt that the walls were dirty, the Zoey hair was in every corner of my house, laundry was not done to my standard, and I couldn't do one thing about it.
Then the dirt...we had the perfect opportunity to get some great top soil to fill in our low spots - and it turned into the biggest pain in my arse! I had to motivate Jayson to go get the dirt, then listen to him complain about driving "farm equipment, "(spoiled CVE boy), then wait for him to follow through. In the meantime he managed to pick up three...yes THREE side jobs that became much more important than me, my house, or my yard. During my dad’s Sunday school lesson I realized that it was what it was....DIRT! Why was I fighting over DIRT? We'll get a yard...one day...and it wasn't worth being so upset over. I let it go - It will happen. Not when I want it to, but it will happen.
I remember when my mom passed away, and the days just before her passing. I had a "feeling." Had I been more spiritually inclined at the time, I would have known it was the spirit prompting me. The emotions and thoughts I had the week prior were STRONG and amazing. It saved me literally. I was calm, the day of and the days after. I was strong! Don't get me wrong....I cried and cried. I screamed at the heavens, I stayed long hours at the cemetery. But, I had a father and children. I taught myself things I never knew I could. My testimony grew. I had a new faith of my religion again.
Over the past three years, I have learned that I am who I am because of the events that I have dealt with in life. All events.
The camp story.
Dealing with a teenager is never easy. Dealing with a teenager who is only 15 yrs younger than you is not easy. Acting like a parent, and not fighting like sisters is not easy.
Joslynn has struggled a little with the move and the new ward, with good reason. We LOVE Paradise 4th ward, and everything about our old ward and house. Moving 2 miles was like moving 2 states. She has a bad attitude about church and Young Women Activities. I KNEW that camp could change that....and it did!
I went up Thursday. As I pulled into camp Lehi, in the awesome farm truck, there was a feeling. Not the bumpy, no shocks, diesel truck feeling....the feeling of peace. Our ward was the first camp site. The girls were working on a craft, happily! Joslynn greeted me with a big hug and I love you. I walked around for awhile, talked with the wards, the directors, and figured out my place for Friday. I hung around, and left just before the gates were locked at 10.
I was so excited to return Friday. The feeling at camp is that of the true spirit, if you let it.
Friday was a little crazy. However, I know that I was blessed and watched over. The entire meal went of perfect. I was calm, cool and collected. We had tons of food, and an amazing devotional afterwards.
We then joined our own wards for testimony meeting. It's always the best part of camp. Remember...all the testimonies that start with "I didn't want to come, and I am so glad I did, I love you girls so much." It's my favorite. But I love listening to these girls doubt there own strengths and beliefs. They are such strong examples to me. I didn't bear my testimony, I was a visitor, and honestly I was scared. But I listened, and I cried when Joslynn told me how much she loved me. I cried when I could feel the pain of the girls who didn't think they belonged. I smiled at those who talked about loving the gospel and the scriptures, and I was thankful that our ward has such GREAT leaders. Thank you, leaders and Young Women, for reminding me what we come from, what we know, and what we believe.
I left at 12:30, I was tired, and still had to get up to do breakfast. I was on a spiritual high. The ride home was extra long, and extra bumpy. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep once, but I made it home safe.
I am so very thankful for the gospel, for my family, and for the things that surround me. I am thankful everyday that Jayson and I both have good jobs, and a healthy family. I am blessed with an amazing extended family, with wonderful Aunts and Uncles who are strong Latter Day Saints. I have the most amazing father, and a wonderful mother who took me in as their own, and taught me right from wrong. I am truly thankful for repentance and the gift that we may one day return to our Heavenly Father. I am blessed to live in such a beautiful place, with great neighbors and friends. I know that I have done wrong things. I know that I have things I need to work on. I know that one day Jayson and I will enter the temple to make our family an eternal family. I know that I am blessed and watched over.
I am thankful for what really matters!