ta-da

I felt I was doing really good and at least posting monthly...but somewhere in time, I forgot about my little blog. heavens forbid.

I ran into a friend today who asked how the apartment industry was doing, and realized not everyone knows I left Riverwalk. It's amazing that I think If I put it on facebook, the entire world knows everything.

So, just to be clear...my last day at Riverwalk Apartments was January 17, 2012. I am currently working as an Administrative Assistant/Medical Office Manager at Access Home Care and Hospice/Home Medical. It is an AMAZING job, and I am so lucky to be working with such great people. I am not used to having people in my office. My boss is a health nut - and everyone else in the office is always on a diet - so - I've been drinking more water, eating healthier (eating before 6pm), and have lost 10 lbs since I started! I'm still 20lbs above where I need to be, but slowly and steady I will loose this damn weight.

I feel the only time I get on here is when the kids and hubby are a sleep, and I can't. Most of the time that also results in a lot of tears. I think too much :/ And then I wonder if the only thing I ever write about is what a ball-baby I am.

The obvious: I'm a little emotionally unstable

The fact: I'm baking again (quit for a bit, life got rough)

The truth: I suck as a parent

The wish: I could take some things (words) back

I have missed my mom an incredible amount lately, and I am positive it has something to do with struggling with a teenage daughter. I go through ups and downs missing her, wishing I could just talk to her. The other night I cried, for a very long time, for no other reason than wanting to talk to my mother. I was sitting on the steps in the garage, with the door open, listening to the wind. As I cried with my head down I wondered how I was ever going to manage the rest of my mortal life without her. The phrase "I would give anything for just one more day," comes to mind more often than not.

Since I haven't been writing here, I am going to update a few random/funny/serious/mater-o-fact facts...
1. My big brother had a beautiful baby girl, Katelyn on February 24th. We got to babysit her tonight for the first time. Andrew and Marni are living just down the road from us. Two weeks before Katelyn was born they were asked to leave there home at Hardware Ranch because of water contamination. They are unsure when they will be able to go back, but I am enjoying them living so close to us for now.
2. My little sis finally got a job at Sherwood Hills. Lucky for us, we get Chloe while she is at work, and love every minute of it! Chloe is now 8 months old, and starting to crawl. Ashton asks me if she can be his sister and not his cousin because he loves her so much. My friend Jalane helps out babysitting when Buff has to go into work before I'm off. Her little girl Taya LOVES Chloe. I feel so very blessed to have such great friends that can help out.
3. Joslynn also got a job. She is cleaning a law office in Logan 15 hrs a week. She is excited to be working, and now has great ambition to find another job with more hours during the day. Graduation is at the end of May, and as of now, she doesn't have plans for after HS
4. Addy got two fish for Christmas, and we had to flush poor Bugsy tonight. He/She has been acting strange for a little bit, and finally passed away :( Addy seemed to deal with the flushing quite well.
5. Ashtons bearded dragon is still very much alive, and I still very much do not like him.
6. I was asked to cook for Stake YW camp again this year. I feel a little more prepared, and am excited to do it.
7. We have tickets to attend the Saturday morning LDS General Conference session, and I am actually looking forward to it. Jayson is too, which makes it even better
8. Jaysons mom is doing exceptionally well. We are thankful for every day that we have with her!
9. Jaysons sister Tonja however is not doing so well. She was admitted to the hospital yesterday. She is 22 weeks pregnant, and leaking amniotic fluid. All they can do right now is keep her on bed rest, and try to keep the baby in her for as long as possible. Debbie flew out today to stay two weeks and help out with the boys while her doctors try to figure out what to do next. For now, they are keeping her in the hospital. They don't even want her getting up to use the bathroom. All we can do is pray, that our father in heaven knows what is best for Tonja and the baby and have faith that things will turn out the way they need to.

I feel that I have more...but my eyes are heavy tonight. Maybe I should just be better at updating when things happen