Tuesday, March 8, 2011

whoa nelly

My blog sucks - I mean seriously. I just looked at the past few posts - and let me tell you - don't bother.
I do not usually think of myself as a "seasonally depressed" person - so I'm not sure if it's the season, day, time, month or year - but I'm just not 100%

I went tanning this past week - twice - IT HELPED!! So, I went again, and bought a 10 punch pass. Something about that hot bed makes me feel better. I was turning a little albino for my own liking. I feel better bronzed. My job doesn't allow for a lot of outside time, or sunny days at the pool.

My house - dirty. We've been somewhere every weekend for the past month - and I can't keep up on the house. We finally stayed home last weekend, with NO PLANS. I made home made pop tarts (so yum) and THE BEST BREAD EVER! Time consuming, but delish! I used to cook a whole lot more - but not latley. and baking is my detox. I should bake more.


Weight - I hate it when my fat pants wont fit! I mean seriously - I HATE buying anything bigger than what is in my closet right now. SO - I should prolly get my a*# to the gym! Weight goes on, it comes off, pants fit, pants wont zip up. BLEHHH! I hate body image. I hate buying "bigger" clothes, but I hate not looking good in whatever I am wearing. I refuse (and would get fired) If I wore sweats all the time. so - I bought 2 new "bigger" shirts. I HATE big boobs! And every time I gain weight - It goes there first. How I wish I could be a nice size C. I found the cutest shirt at Maurices, and couldn't have even fit ONE boob into it if I had wanted to.
Today is Mardi Gras - Jayson asked if he gave me some beads if I would show him my boobs- bleehhhh. Who even wants to look at them?

Kids - Jos is enjoying life, and is happy - but her grades SUCK! So - do I let it slide, because It's not worth the fight? Do you take away what makes them happy? (We have tried that NUMEROUS times, It didn't work).
Addy - shes a mini me - bossy, in charge, mothering - and she is loosing friends because of it! She cried last night because "everyone makes fun of Addy." I don't know what to do. YES - she is dramatic! YES, next week it will be something else, or someone else. But how do I help her NOW?
Ashton - too young to have problems :) and "he's a man."

Marriage - I have decided that Jayson is pretty wonderful! Yep - after 11 years of marriage, I am admitting out loud that I think he' s great! I usually don't tell him, because his ego swells. He is actually pretty amazing. I do wish SOME things were different, but I love what I got! :)

so - a few personal comments later, I'm feeling better. whew, thanks. My bestie told me that she thought she was negative - because she was negative for a month - a bad month - and now that I think about it - IM FRIGGIN NEGATIVE! I should really stop! I have so much to be thankful for. okay - Im done! Only happy thoughts - we'll at least for 24 hours.

any cheap, overnight, fun, exciting anniversary ideas?

8 comments:

Jess said...

I LOVE this post. It is so how I'm feeling. Here are my 2 cents. Go tanning, buy a few bigger clothes... Flash Jayson once in awhile. Try your best with Jos and just give Addy a big hug. I think you're great and I love all your blog posts. I just want more of them coming!!

Unknown said...

I agree with 100% with Jess :) WHoever she is? Im feeling the same way. Today I was gonna start being good as in diet exersise good and nope I ate 3 times as much as i usually do! Dont feel bad Margaret im feeling the same way you are right now and I really just feel like changing my ideniety and running away and never looking back!

Breck said...

I totally understand about your "boob" thing, and feel for you too! My reduction was one of the best things I have ever done. It makes it tons better to work out too. You are darling and I have always thought that!

Jenny said...

Leggings. Cheap and you can put your big shirts on top.

I gain weight in my boobs too. Not quite as impressive as yours though.

If you have an extra eighty bucks a month you should come with me to cross fit. It is insane but it is also awesome. Seriously, I hate to work out, but I look forward to this every morning. Also, the amount of money helps me stick with it, I get out of bed so I don't feel like I'm wasting my money.

Josh & Shellece + 3 said...

hahaha...must be in the Cache Valley water. I feel exactly the same to everything you just wrote PLUS some other bitter feelings right now.

Day by Day girl!

KarKar said...

Its winter too!! And I would've mentioned tanning if you haven't already gone. I go once a week and it kicks ass! I come home from tanning and feel so good - warm and gooey!! And when you feel awesome you do more for!!

Oh and your little body is super cute..regardless of the pounds coming or going, my friend.

So with that said..follow Jess! Do what ya can - but for surely be flashing your man! When momma and Dad are happy the WHOLE house is happy!!

Artificial vitamin D 4EVA!!!!

[BevS] said...

Amen Sister!!! You nailed how I was feeling.I am usually the glass is half full kind of a gal but lately, I want to throw the figgin' glass!!! You're a great person but you are too hard on yourself. Guilt is so time consuming and tiring. Tomorrow will be better! (Please say that it will)

Celeste Russell said...

My new goal is to work out everyday at least walking if I can't make it to the gym. We share lots of things and my feeling are about yours now! Spinning 5:45 M.W.F. you and me girl!!!! You are awesome and you know I love you! Everyone does!! The snow is melting and it is almost too warm for a jacket today! Go take a walk around your property today!
TTYL!