Tis the season

Who made it possible to have four holidays one right after the other? I mean seriously - we don't have anything from July 4th, and then Halloween, Thanksgiving,Christmas and the the NEW year?

and...

the tears wont stop.

1st - NO, I am not pregnant. YES, I wish I was. NO, we can not have anymore.
2nd - It's the holidays, and I miss my mom more than EVER!

Jan 19, almost 4 years ago, my mother passed. I don't cry as often, I don't visit the cemetery as much. I can talk to Addy about memories and smile instead of crying. But, The hurt and pain never goes away. My mother and I were close. We spoke everyday, multiple times. She calmed my sole like NO-ONE could. She reminded me often of how precious life is.
For whatever reason, I can honestly say I think this year has been hardest yet.

....

I am LDS. Born of full Jewish decent. Adopted by a wonderful, religious LDS family. I was baptized. I made mistakes. I graduated seminary with only 2 years. I was pregnant at 19. I am still married to my babys daddy. He is inactive. IT IS HARD! I do go to church. I do believe. I do know whats right and wrong. I hate going to church without Jayson. I know what I am supposed to be doing. I don't always do it. I want to go through the temple. I am scared. I want to go with Jayson. He quit chewing. He still drinks. I haven't paid my tithing for awhile. I don't take the sacrament. I don't feel worthy. I burst into tears when I kneel to pray. I don't remember the last time I prayed. I don't read my scriptures. Do I bring the spirit into my home? Do I teach my children the right way? My actions speak WAY louder than my words. I don't think I taught my children the real reason for the season this year. I cried myself to sleep Christmas Eve. I feel guilty.

I have a hard time talking religion - why? I'm not sure. Maybe it's that I am aware of my true deep feelings. Maybe I know who is reading my blog, and don't want to offend anyone. I have had Bishops tell me to leave Jayson, wait and go to the temple with him, and go without him. My Dad, who was a Bishop, and who "is my dad" probably gave me the best advice - maybe I should just listen to him :)

With the New year only a few hours away, I giggle at the New Years Resolutions. I mean seriously, If you couldn't loose 20lb last year, how ya gonna do it this year? Why do we have to put dates on things we need to change? Jayson had been trying to quit chewing for YEARS, and finally, when he got his tonsils out in October, he HAD to quit! So maybe, we should do things just because we HAVE to, not because 2011 is going to be the fantastic new beginning.

Things happened in 2010 that I LOVED! Things happened in 2010 that I wished never happened. I can't take back the things that happened, I can only learn from my mistakes. They make me stronger. They teach me who I am. They teach me about others.
The only promise I am making in 2011 is to be more patient, love deeper, forgive quicker, listen harder and live each day as it is the last. Life is to short to hate, and not forgive.
I am grateful every day for my husband, and I don't tell him enough. He works hard, everyday for his family. I admire that he has worked for the same company since the day I met him. He respects his boss, and those above him. He loves his family and respects his parents.

However, I do wish that he could be on Percocet every day - he is an awesome cook, housekeeper, organizer, and even a little emotional! :) I love you babe - but the percocet did make you a "better person." lol!

My children are amazing. I can't imagine life without all three children. I wish I could stay home with them, but that day will come. I wish I had three more - but I love what I have!

So, here's to another year of wonderful memories, old friends, new friends, adventures, tears, joy, laughter, work, living and MY SIMPLE BEAUTIFUL LIFE!

HAPPY 2011, may it only bring us happiness and joy!

It sucks trying to be perfect

Sometimes we just have to cry for ourselves. Ya know - like throwing a two year old tantrum. Today was one of them. Sometimes it just feels as nothing can go right, and I want to stab everyones eyes out with my favorite pen.

I feel like I try hard to remain positive, and only think of the bright side - but dammit - today I didn't want to.

It all started when I left my tooth at home. Yep, my tooth. Remember I had one pulled, and have a "flapper" until my gums heal. I was on my cell phone at home, got distracted, and walked out the door, still on the phone. (I talk better without it in) - got to Maceys and had to turn around, because I sure as hell ain't going t work with out my tooth!

Then...

Some old, and I mean OLD guy came in today looking for an apartment for his granddaughter...then sat across from my desk for the next hour telling me how I should give her a better rental rate because she is a 22yr old single mother with a 2 yr old, and a retired Marine. Ya - do the math, figure out that retirement. AND - that he is the richest man in Cache Valley, but this economy is gonna flop in two years, and he appreciates me working full time so he can collect his Social Security check. I finally had enough, and asked him to leave....after another 30 min, and me turning my back to him, he got the idea and left.

THEN...social services wants me to give them tenant info on a family that had to have a child removed from the home yesterday. BUT... they don't speak the language they do, and can't understand how to communicate with them. Can you say "warrant?" Duh people! I can't just give out info!

When I thought it was better, I had to come home - but to protect my family and my marriage, I will not give you the details. I will simply state that everyone is in bed but me, tucked in happily, and asleep, and me - well. I am cleaning, doing laundry, and typing out my frustration. It's one of those situations where I feel like the littlest thing has made me just about loose it.

I have anxiety if things are on the counter, in the sink, or in the washer when I go to bed. WHY??? They will be there tomorrow! And another thing. We have Iron in our water - lots of iron. It makes things turn different colors. It makes things smell. It gives me anxiety. If you would like to make a donation to my filtration system, I can set up a pay pal account. My water softener can only do so much. I put a bag of water softener pellets in that sucker every month.

Dear Santa,

Please bring me an iron filtration system. I promise I don't want anything else.

P.S. Thanks for the early present of my Electrolux washer.

Love,

Margaret

P.P.S. I think I will sleep on the couch tonight - because my back hurts, and the couch makes it feel better, and I don't want to accidentally suffocate you in your sleep

Thank you

Love, Margaret

My back does hurt - I think I'll take a pain pill, watch my DVR of Glee, and fall asleep on the couch.

Tomorrow is the 19th. 3 years and 10 months. When I took Dad dinner tonight I just wanted to see you. I miss you! You always made me feel better. You made stupid things seem just that...stupid! There are things in this world so much more important than the dishes and the laundry. I just need you to remind me of that sometimes..... I think you just did .....

....

thank you,

Pay It Forward

We have been inspired so much the last few months reading the trials of the sweet Sullenger family. There sweet child was taken too soon, and the inspiring part is how graceful her amazing parents are moving forward.

They are calling out for help now, and there is something we can do! They are taking this horrible tragedy an turning it into something good. Read about their inspiring story here:

http://patrickandashley.blogspot.com/

They are taking donations of money or goods to make baskets for parents who go through the same horrible situations, and have to leave their homes unprepared in times of uncertainty. Each basket will hold items of comfort and things that may be overlooked. The baskets will be delivered to Primary Children's Hospital in December, their goal is 100 complete baskets, one in each room.

Joslynn has decided that this is a great Personal Progress Project, and will be seeking the help from our ward and others. Joslynn and I will deliver the items personally to Rexburg in December. I know that they are concerned about food items right now. If any of you are interested in donating items, please contact me. If you want to donate money there is a donation button on the blog listed above.

Here is more information on the project:

http://presleespresent.blogspot.com/

Here is a list of the supplies that will go in each basket:

1 Box of Granola Bars

2 Trail Mix (Personal Size)

2 Goldfish (Personal Size)

6 Fruit Leather (At Costco you can get a box with 48 individual leathers for under $10)

Breathmints/Gum

Small Eye Drops (Visine)

3 Pens & Journal

Fleece Blaket for the parents (47" x 57" OR 42" x 52"- Try and go for the bigger one :)

2 Pairs of Socks (preferably with grips on the bottom)

2 Toothbrushes

Toothpaste

Chapstick

Small lotion (non-scented if possible)

Playing Cards

Disposable Camera

This is an amazing thing to be a part of. Please help us help the Sullengers and the families at PCMC. We will gladly come and pick up any items you can donate - even if it is ONE BOX of Granola bars! ANYTHING ALWAYS HELPS.

THANK YOU!

Cant touch this...

I took this picture a few weeks ago while waiting to get Ashton and Jaysons tonsils out. It's one of those pictures that makes me giggle.
My little man is 6 TODAY!
...
I was gonna be all funny - but now I'm crying!
...
He's my baby, and he's growing up.
No more babies
...
He is the sunshine in my day

He is a ladies man
He's already picked a woman, and no one better hurt his Rylee!
He's always got his 19 yr old girlfriend for a backup
He gives sweet sugar kisses
He'll try anything once
He loves to snuggle
His favorite color is Orange (because his Dad wears it everyday)
He shot the house with his BB Gun last week under dad's supervision
He wants a turtle for his birthday
His bestest friend is Max
He LOVES broccoli, and "sour salad" from Olive Garden
He has only had ONE broken bone, and no stitches....
He sings along with Lady GaGa
He ROCKS at Wii Dance
He would REALLY like a motorcycle - so he can be on Nitro Circus
He sleeps with me when Jayson is out of town
He loves to share my gum with everyone
His hero is his cousin Kyle
He sings in the shower
He has to spray Axe on before going to school

He is mine

I LOVE him

HE IS SIX!

Happy Birthday Mommas Man.

Bloggers Block...

I can't think of the perfect thing to say, or the perfect picture with the perfect story....
damn.

Advice...(turn off the music first)

I just love her

why do they have to grow up?

celebrate the day

Happy Birthday to my Mother - the one who taught me what's important...

-say my prayers

-wear clean undies

-treat others as you would like to be treated

-Doris Day is wonderful

-practice makes perfect

-take the T off can'T and put it on Try!

-tomorrow will be better

-"papcorn" is good anytime

-your only as good as you make yourself

-maple nut and burnt almond fudge is the BEST ice cream

-there is no boogie man in the closet

-if you ignore mean people, they will go away

-mothers do know best

-I HAVE a beautiful life

-my husband will be perfect, tomorrow

-everyone needs date night

-tomatoe soup and noodles makes everything better

-coke will not put hair on my chest

-it is never too late for a diet coke

-take time

-the art of braiding hair

-appriciation for music

-hard work

-love

-compassion

-women can do anything - but a man is helpful

-respect my elders

-someone is always having a bad day

-never give up

I love you mom!

Just what I needed

Ten years ago at this time I was getting ready to take the drive to Salt Lake with Jaysons family to pick up his sister Tonja. It was a Wednesday, and I was 12 days OVER due with my first born. I was to be induced on Friday at 42 weeks. We walked ALL over the SLC airport, finding the right terminal. My stomach was so hard, little did I know what was going to happen.
Tonja pushed and rubbed on my belly the whole way home. Jayson and I went to bed about ten. I had the urge to pee around 10:30 -and that my friends is when the flood came.
Jayson jumped up, standing on top of the bed asking what the hell that noise was. I "thought" my water had broke. I wobbled into the bathroom to confirm my thoughts.
We loaded into the car, stopped at my parents to get a fathers blessing and arrived at the LRH at 11:30. I was dilated to a .5, and 0% effaced. My contractions were hard, but I wasn't ready.
.....I'll spare you all the details....
At 10:37AM, September 18, 2000, Addy Lee Gittins; my bald little, short legged, 7lb 3oz, miniature Margaret was born. And, I will add...Jaysons sister held her before me! :) - I love you Tonja!
My little Corra is now ten years old! She cant get to 18 soon enough. I LOVE MY ADDY, but, if you know her, then you will not think that this is a rude comment! She is bossy, in control, outspoken, always right, the princess, sulky, dramatic, picky....HOLY SHIT, she is a miniature Margaret. My parents warned me about this.
Addy is a beautiful. caring, loving, strong, independent, little person. She is going to do something amazing one day. She wants to be a nurse, wedding planner, animal shelter coordinator, fashion coordinator, event planner, restaurant host, day care provider and a teacher "when she grows up." Whatever it is, she will be the best!
She loves her family and friends very much, and is always trying to make someone happy with beautiful pictures and cute little love notes.
Her Mauree was her best friends, and she reminds me every day why it is important to say I love you. Her Mauree taught her so many important things in life, like how to have a proper tea party. Addy had the blessing of spending years 1-4 with my mom. Addy spent every day with her best friend, and has so many great memories because of it. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher/friend.
I LOVE you miss Addy Boo! You came into my life right when I needed you. Thank you for teaching me about life, and what is important. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....Addy Boo, little miss, Corra, Suzie, sassy pants,short legs, princess pat, bossy mcgee, and our little mother....WE LOVE YOU!!!

Fried Food, Lemonade and the Big Yellow Slide

UTAH STATE FAIR

I don't think I have been to the Utah State Fair since I was in high school, with the FFA. Im pretty sure we were just going to check out the cowboys. Im still amazed I didn't marry one, a cowboy that is.

Addy is turning Ten this Saturday, and decided that she wanted to go to the State Fair for her birthday.

How did I forget that the fair is ALL about fried food- corn dogs especially? Did you know they have an entire building for infomercial people and a"fresh lemonade" stand at every turn.

We went for the animals too.

Minature Bull, with the perfect curly hair

Sheep as big as the girls. They were huge. I even asked the farmer if they were normal.

Addy and MaKenzie had a BLAST! All day ride pass, Sea Lion show, cotton candy, corndogs, dippin dots, fried pickles, funnel cake, lemonade - I think Im getting sick all over again even thinking about all the things we ate.

And then, the BIG YELLOW SLIDE. I remember this thing from when i was a kid. It is as big and wonderful as I remember. It was amazing. We went down three times. I felt like a young'in again.

Oh, the future of the FFA

We even played some Midway games

The Sea Lion show was fun, especially since the girls got a kiss from them.

TEN hours at the fair was enough for me.

Really, two months?

Please forgive me, it has been two months since my last post. My name is Margaret, I am a slacker.
Well, not really. Some of you haven't updated in over ONE WHOLE YEAR! I had some help with re-construction of my blog, and now I shall update.

1. PLEASE leave a comment if you even read. Just a hello will work.

2. Addy is turning 10 this Saturday!

3. Next week I am attending The Lion King.

4. We still have dirt for a yard.

5. Jayson leaves me a lot.

6. I have decorated for Halloween.

7. Joslynn is 16, and going to Homecoming next weekend, while I am at the Lion King...we will talk about this later

8. ALL THREE of my children are in school

9. Fall + me = LOTS OF BAKING! :)

10. My dad went to Alaska - HOLY COW!

11. I have gained 12 lbs since this time last year

12. I am going to the gym tomorrow

13. I love McDonalds french fries...hmmm...12 lbs worth?

14. Jayson buried the old grill in the back yard - yes, buried. Dug a hole in the middle of the goats pen, and buried it!

15. We are camping this weekend with Cache Valley Electric, my kids are SOSOSOSO excited.

16. I got a new camera - so pictures next - aren't you excited?

Do you need a good laugh?

Bittersweet

I am in a hotel room, typing, crying, listening to my entire family sleep, feeling blessed that we are all together. In the past week I feel truly blessed to be who I am, with a family that I love.
I came across the Sullenger Family Blog this past week. A heartbreaking story of a little girl who fell in the canal in Rigby, Idaho over the 4th. She was life flighted to PCMC, and returned to her heavenly home Friday afternoon.
Another, a child who was born strong and beautiful, and by 6 months had what they determined was Lou Gehrig's. They lost her in December 2009. A "birthday party" was held in Farmington, Ut. yesterday to celebrate, and raise awareness.
And lastly, my sweet friend, and co-worker Melaine Kalis lost her husband in a tragic helicopter accident at the airport in SLC on Friday.
I cant type, I cant make sense, I am just babbling with emotions that I can not type out. I feel blessed and saddened all in the same gulp of air.
Pray harder, love deeper, live stronger.

who wants my man child?

You can't really have him, my life would never be the same without him! I love this Little Man, he is my last, my only son, and he likes to give me sugar (kisses). He is energetic, silly, and an all American BOY!
He is going to Kindergarten this year, and I am very sad. He is growing up. He keeps telling me to stop feeding him, and he will stop growing.
I am looking for a sitter for this next school year. Ashton will be in morning Kindergarten at Canyon Elem. I need a sitter from approx 11:30 - 5:30, Mon. - Fri. If you are anyone you know would be interested, please let me know. Thanks so much!

Thirty, Fun and Flirty??

I am 30! I am FUN! But flirty...hell no! :)
Growing up, my grandmother and my mother were forever 29. I have some to the conclusion that as a small child I was taught that I should be forever 29!! I am not 30, I am and will be FOREVER 29.

We had a glitter toe party Friday night. Trish did thirteen sets of toes. She is amazing. The night was full of fun and laughter. Tammy and Melissa were the last to leave at 11:30.

Ashton enjoying the chocolate fountain, looking a bit like Dracula

Even Kyler had fun!

I know...your wishing you would have come and enjoyed the chocolate fountain

Saturday, Addy and I went to a baptism for our friends Brian and JoAnn. It was such a special day for them. We love spending time with the Olsens. It's amazing how quickly you forget how young and innocent you were at 8.

It IS great to be eight!

After, Kaehla and I headed to SLC with Margo for a fun filled evening. We did some shopping, ate at PF Changs, and went on an adventure to the corner for a McDonalds coke...not the best idea we had . Jayson informed us we were lucky not to get shot. For future...

do not go to the McDonalds Downtown on 5th South!

Sunday afternoon, my dad put together a little surprise party for me. Family, friends, burgers, and some GREAT presents. They all thought they were so funny. The Olsens had put together a old lady beautification bag...tweezers, mirror, cold cream, polident, shower cap, hair net, and curlers. My father and siblings gave me a moo moo, depends, and denture cream. I am so lucky to be surrounded by such loving people.

I even had to put on a fashion show!

KarLee and Jennifer made these cute cupcakes and cake for me.

THANKS FRIENDS AND FAMILY for making 30 not so painful!

GLITTER TOES

FRIDAY NIGHT, July 9

Starting at 6:00

(approx 40 min per person)

Trish Clawson will be doing them. Only $15 per person!

No need to make an appointement...

Just an RSVP!

I'll be setting up the Chocolate Fountain too :)

Please come, bring your daughter, neighbor or friends.

just leave a comment if you plan on comming, or call me.

Hope to see you

(it's my going be 29 forever party!)

What really matters

FIRST OFF....Why can't I load any pictures onto my blog? Can someone please help me? It's driving me crazy!

I am 1 week shy of a 2 month broken back story.....
On May 6 I "fell" and broke my back. Not anything major, but WOW, what an impact. The computer we have at home was dying,and took to long to even bother logging on. When at work I did what I HAD to and left! It was amazing to me how following my favorite blogs didn't matter, checking facebook, or even logging onto my e-mail became something I didn't care about. The fish in Fishville died, and I was happy. It put a few things in perspective, and I am grateful!
Girls Camp was last weekend - and IT WAS AWESOME! I think the closer it got, I was more excited just to go to camp.
Joslynn went with the 5th yr. girls for the retreat on Tuesday night, and that’s when reality set in. I was going to be feeding 400 members....and Jayson, my helper, was working out of town! Whatever was I going to do?
My father let me borrow "Goldie" the awesome gold farm truck...that I look so stinkin' hot in...To gather all the food. Judy, my aunt, came to the rescue with two large white coolers. Kaehla and Teresa SAVED me Friday morning, by helping shred 100lbs of chicken. I could NOT have done it without these people.
When I was called, they asked if I needed a committee, and I being the person that I am said no. I can do this all by myself. PSHHHH....Note to self...delegation is for a reason! :)
However, what I really wanted to write about was the self learning lesson I have encountered over the past two months.
It all started with the back, then not needing the internet, the fight with Jayson about dirt in the yard, and a final high note at Stake Young Women’s Girls Camp.
Breaking my back was hard, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. Being told that you can NOT do things, like Saturday Cloroxing aromatherapy is hard for a Type A person. I felt that the walls were dirty, the Zoey hair was in every corner of my house, laundry was not done to my standard, and I couldn't do one thing about it.
Then the dirt...we had the perfect opportunity to get some great top soil to fill in our low spots - and it turned into the biggest pain in my arse! I had to motivate Jayson to go get the dirt, then listen to him complain about driving "farm equipment, "(spoiled CVE boy), then wait for him to follow through. In the meantime he managed to pick up three...yes THREE side jobs that became much more important than me, my house, or my yard. During my dad’s Sunday school lesson I realized that it was what it was....DIRT! Why was I fighting over DIRT? We'll get a yard...one day...and it wasn't worth being so upset over. I let it go - It will happen. Not when I want it to, but it will happen.
I remember when my mom passed away, and the days just before her passing. I had a "feeling." Had I been more spiritually inclined at the time, I would have known it was the spirit prompting me. The emotions and thoughts I had the week prior were STRONG and amazing. It saved me literally. I was calm, the day of and the days after. I was strong! Don't get me wrong....I cried and cried. I screamed at the heavens, I stayed long hours at the cemetery. But, I had a father and children. I taught myself things I never knew I could. My testimony grew. I had a new faith of my religion again.
Over the past three years, I have learned that I am who I am because of the events that I have dealt with in life. All events.
The camp story.
Dealing with a teenager is never easy. Dealing with a teenager who is only 15 yrs younger than you is not easy. Acting like a parent, and not fighting like sisters is not easy.
Joslynn has struggled a little with the move and the new ward, with good reason. We LOVE Paradise 4th ward, and everything about our old ward and house. Moving 2 miles was like moving 2 states. She has a bad attitude about church and Young Women Activities. I KNEW that camp could change that....and it did!
I went up Thursday. As I pulled into camp Lehi, in the awesome farm truck, there was a feeling. Not the bumpy, no shocks, diesel truck feeling....the feeling of peace. Our ward was the first camp site. The girls were working on a craft, happily! Joslynn greeted me with a big hug and I love you. I walked around for awhile, talked with the wards, the directors, and figured out my place for Friday. I hung around, and left just before the gates were locked at 10.
I was so excited to return Friday. The feeling at camp is that of the true spirit, if you let it.
Friday was a little crazy. However, I know that I was blessed and watched over. The entire meal went of perfect. I was calm, cool and collected. We had tons of food, and an amazing devotional afterwards.
We then joined our own wards for testimony meeting. It's always the best part of camp. Remember...all the testimonies that start with "I didn't want to come, and I am so glad I did, I love you girls so much." It's my favorite. But I love listening to these girls doubt there own strengths and beliefs. They are such strong examples to me. I didn't bear my testimony, I was a visitor, and honestly I was scared. But I listened, and I cried when Joslynn told me how much she loved me. I cried when I could feel the pain of the girls who didn't think they belonged. I smiled at those who talked about loving the gospel and the scriptures, and I was thankful that our ward has such GREAT leaders. Thank you, leaders and Young Women, for reminding me what we come from, what we know, and what we believe.
I left at 12:30, I was tired, and still had to get up to do breakfast. I was on a spiritual high. The ride home was extra long, and extra bumpy. I’m pretty sure I fell asleep once, but I made it home safe.
I am so very thankful for the gospel, for my family, and for the things that surround me. I am thankful everyday that Jayson and I both have good jobs, and a healthy family. I am blessed with an amazing extended family, with wonderful Aunts and Uncles who are strong Latter Day Saints. I have the most amazing father, and a wonderful mother who took me in as their own, and taught me right from wrong. I am truly thankful for repentance and the gift that we may one day return to our Heavenly Father. I am blessed to live in such a beautiful place, with great neighbors and friends. I know that I have done wrong things. I know that I have things I need to work on. I know that one day Jayson and I will enter the temple to make our family an eternal family. I know that I am blessed and watched over.
I am thankful for what really matters!

thought(s) for the day...

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

the blahs!

My last post, titled "I’m so excited'" and then this are two extreme opposites...but that is how I am feeling!
May 6, woke up early, having a great morning, polished toes, put laundry away, jumped in the shower, shaved, pumiced heels....FELL DOWN, broke back! Yep, how damn stupid right?
Addy heard me (my body coming down on marble is a little loud); she came running, zoey starting barking, I couldn't breathe, and wanted to cry. I somehow managed to get out of the shower and grab a towel, had Addy grab my shorts and a tee - oh, yes, and my cell phone. I called Jayson - that was not helpful! Men can sometimes be SO STUPID (don't worry, he remedies himself later). I got up, got Addy out the door, and then called my Aunt Judy to ask what a broken back would feel like. I scared her a little, she called my Dad, he rushed over - then went back home to grab my little sister to take me to the ER. In the meantime, my sweet friend Kristy came to grab Ashton, and take him to preschool.
The ER took X-rays, and stated that I had a compression fracture (like a pop can), and then gave me and IV of some very, VERY wonderful drugs! :) Jayson drove from 90th South to Logan very quickly, and took me home. I slept for the next three days.
I don't deal well with being "down," It literally gets me down! So...against orders, I went to work Monday - yep...not a good idea! So, in the 2 weeks since - I cannot bend over and Clorox floor and walls (and that my friends is my aromatherapy,) lift, go up stairs very well, or sleep in my own bed. I've been on the couch for two freakin weeks...and I’m done! I put that bedding in the washer this morning, and by damn I am sleeping in my bed tonight!
I slipping into some funk - I can't sleep, I cry, I feel like my house needs me and some Clorox 101, I want to just fell better...NOW! I am impatient and dammit - this was not what I ordered - so take it back! I don't want to burden others with my problems...so I'll write it about it on my blog so you can all see it, right? Whahhhhh, poor Margaret! Okay - REALLY...NO COMMENTS ON THAT, PLEASE!
Last night I took Joslynns friend home, by the old house, the house I love, with the neighbors I love and miss - yep that one. And...I stopped in to see what then had done to the place. It looked great, and they were happy...and me...well I cried nonstop for the next 2 hours! WHAT THE HELL? I have a brand new, beautiful home - with no problems, and I want my old house back! Then I hurt Jaysons feelings by not being happy with what we have...and then...well then... crying + no sleep = poor Margaret blog!
so, really...this is a poor me, I feel so bad for myself, and need to poor out my emotion, whahhh blog....sorry!
But...It does feel better knowing that after writing this I sound pretty flippin pathetic, I need to get over myself,take an extra pain pill, break out the Clorox and finish out my day.
"and with that my dear, I say GOOD DAY!" (what movie line???)

I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it...

I got a phone call Monday night, not one that I was expecting...I have been asked to be the "food specialist" for Stake Young Women's camp this year.  For some of you, this may be a dreaded calling...but this EXCITES ME!! WAHOO!! :)
I get to plan and prepare 3 meals for 250 people...oh the possibilities!  I have been thinking non-stop since Monday night.  Tonight is our first meeting, and I get to learn all about what I have to do, what is expected, and what I will need to figure out between now and June.
I may be posting ideas here so that you can all give me your feedback - therefore, I will express my thanks now. If any of you have great ideas, let me know.  Thanks, and have a great May 5th!

Anniversary Trip - Oregon, March 2010

Jayson and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary March 28 this year.  We wanted to do something fun, yet not too expensive. We looked into a few destinations, and decided on Oregon.  As many of you are aware, I am a PLANNER! BUT..not this time!  We had our flights, a car rental, five days and a GPS. NO RESERVATIONS! :) This is so unlike me...and I LOVED it!

Multnomah Falls

Crescent City, CA.  First look at the Ocean

We met up with Gary and Natasha (my birth mother) in Medford, Oregon.  I met up with her in Las Vegas in 2000, and talk to her often.  It was great to meet Gary and let Jayson meet her.  We had a great time visiting, and I am so grateful to know her. 

We drove A LOT on day 2.  From Portland to Medford, back to Grants Pass and then over to Crescent City.  Thank Goodness our little Ford Escape had Sirius.  Jayson made me listen to Blue Collar Comedy for most of the driving time. I don't let him drive - he scares me!

We drove to the "drive through tree" - NOT what I expected at all.  It was a great little drive, but not my favorite. 

Jayson was a tree hugger, and made me take lots of pictures of him next the the giant Redwoods to show the kids.

I'm so awesome.hahahahah!

My little friend - well call him Oscar.  He was out in the ocean, all alone.  He let me take pictures of him.

The Sea Lion caves were so fascinating.  They said about 350-400 lions were in the cave.  The week prior they had about 600.  Jayson thought he was a sea lion, and made the "lion call" to them....and me for the next 50 miles.

Jayson was in HEAVEN with his full crab dinner.  We found this hole in the wall diner.  I don't do seafood - but her homemade pecan cheesecake was amazing!

Pacific City was our very most FAVORITE stop!  Jayson was digging through the tide pools until it was too dark.  I found this little star fish, and later killed it.  It is on our back porch, loosing the sea smell still.  Yes, I am a heartless killer!  Don't judge me!

Astoria was out last stop.  Yep - The ENTIRE Oregon Coast in only 4 days!  We are planning to go back next year with the kids.  I may have to do a little more planning, and book some hotels however.

Happy 93 Aunt Onie

My Great Aunt, Ione Andurs celebrated her "94th" year yesterday.  She is such an amazing woman! My Aunties celebrated with a temple session, and then to Aunt Maries for a wonderful lunch!

She is the LIFE of the party!

Aunt Marie, Aunt Nan, Aunt Onie, Aunt Janet and Aunt Diane

(my mom's sisters)

Thanks for letting me celebrate with you!

Party Prices

Tonight is our first party.  We hope you are ALL coming.  Attending these parties is a great way to sample some of the products, and learn just how easy it is to budget and use your food storage.
If you are un-able to make it tonight, you can still order.  Some of the SALE items in April are:



All #10 cans - Party prices in April

Freeze Dried:
Blackberries $25.13- save $8.42

Mandarin Oranges $16.94- save $5.70

Pineapple Chunks $26.37 - save $9.80

Corn $14.47- save $3.23

Potato Dices $14.34 - save $5.11

Ground Beef $31.88- save $12.45

Roast Beef Dices $26.36 - save $8.78

Carrot Dices $11.54 - save $3.89

Other Items:

Peppers, mixed bell... $8.63 - save $3.96

6 Grain Pancacke Mix $7.56 - save $2.57

Let me know if you want any of these sale items!

Shelf Reliance

It's the HOT,NEWcraze...in Utah!  What you ask,  hosting a food storage party. Not only am I having a party, but I am becoming a consultant, with my girlfreind Celeste for Shelf Reliance. 
WE ARE SO EXCITED!

Shelf Reliance not only sells shelving units, but the Thrive food line. And the best part...when you attend the parties, you get a "party price."  A normal 72" Harvest shelving unit sells for $459.99 reg. At a party, you pay ONLY $298.99!  Thats a SAVINGS of $161.00!!!  The Thrive product is also cheaper at the parties.  We tried the fantastic freeze dried pineapple chunks - so yummy!  Reg $36.12 - party price $26.37

If you have not had the opportunity to attend one of these parties yet, it doesn't surprise me.  It is so new, they only have over 100 consultants. We are so excited to grab on, and show you what we have to offer.

We attended a party last night, and left so excited for my food storage.  I set up a "Q."  This allows me to get my family food storage for all 5 of us, within our budget.  I set up a monthly amount I can afford, and it ships part of my Q to me each month.  My Q is for 3 months food storage, my budget is $75 per month, and I will get shipments for 28 months. You can personalize it however you would like, for as much as you would like.

Are you ready to get as excited as us?

OUR FIRST PARTY.....

When: Friday April 2, 2010

Where: Margaret's

7771 South 400 West, Paradise

Time: 7:00-9:00

RSVP: 881-8035

Please come and please bring yourself, friends, neighbors, relatives, co-workers.

WE WANT TO SEE ALL OF YOU!

We will have lots of great product to sample, and some great food storage info.

 Check it out; http://www.shelfreliance.com/

pay it forward

In the month of January I wrote a post about my mother - and how I felt about death.  Just last week I wrote another post about this sweet little angel here at the apartment community that I manage.  Most of those responses were something to the extent of me being a great friend and person....and I feel the need to clarify.
I was not looking for a pat on the back, I just wanted write my feelings out.  I had so many thoughts and emotions.  I was so thankful that I could be there for Jennifer that day - and that I could "pay it forward."
The day my mother passed, she was here with me at work.  It all happened so quickly.  I had to rely on friends to find and take care of my children until I could get home.  I was not in the frame of mind to be worried about those things.
I, personally, was grateful that I could help someone else in such a stressful time.  I felt joy and comfort knowing that I was doing for someone that had once been done for me.
Today I attended the funeral. If funerals could be called uplifting - this was one!  WOW!  Both mom and dad were the speakers, and they did an AMAZING job. They are spiritually in such a wonderful place.  I do not doubt that days and nights will be hard, more tears will be shed, and days will sometimes be filled with anger.  These are natural emotions. (I still yell at the heavens)
When my mother passed I learned some very VALUABLE lessons in life.  EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE!  So many came to my rescue.  I never knew until then how even a simple card would mean so much. 
Pay it forward!  When you have a thought to call someone, drop a little note, or visit them - DO IT!  They may need it more than you can imagine.

One Life

The day was not what I had expected. I put a line of facebook about eating snickers, and needing to put it down. I was working on a resident file. And then, the sirens.


Three police cars sped past my office, followed quickly by the ambulance. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door. The fire truck was rounding the bend. I noticed they stopped in front of a specific apartment. My heart dropped, and ran faster. I entered the apartment, she collapsed in my arms. “She quit breathing, Margaret.” The paramedics took this sweet little angel out the door. The mother cried and little sister ran naked in the house. “I don’t have a car, my husband is at school.” I dressed baby girl, and told mom I would be right back and I would get her to the hospital.

Traffic has never been so slow. We hit every stop light. Mom cried, and rambled through her thought of what had just happened in the last 24 hours. She had just talked to Dad 20 min ago, and told him something was wrong. She told him she would call if anything changed…

We waited in the “rose room” at the hospital for Dad. Mom was told to wait for Dad to go back into the room – still no news. Dad walked in, mom fell into his arms, crying. He holds her close and tells her that she has done everything right.

Baby girl and I go for a walk, I’m sure Mom and Dad needed to visit and hold each other alone. I then see the doctor go into the room. The emotion on his face is sad and lost. It only takes a few minutes, and then Mom, Dad, Social Worker and Doctor exit the room.

Dad is pale, slumped over, with hollow eyes. His hand is in moms back, guiding her forward. She is crying. Her eyes are red from crying. She is holding onto Dad as if her legs may give out at any time. They are guided into the ER. The Social Worker comes back to inform the Bishop and myself that our sweet little Gwen has passed away.

I instantly well up with tears, finding it hard to hold back. I squeeze baby sister, and kiss her head. She looks up at me with concern.

I spent the next few hours walking with baby sister around the hospital. My cell phone would not work, so had more than enough time to ponder and think about the event of the day. This sweet little sister having no idea what has just taken place, how her family’s lives would be changed forever.

I was asked to take baby sis back to say good bye. I entered the room, the same room I said goodbye to my own mother in. The feelings rushed back through every inch of my body. I tried to keep myself cool and collected for the family’s sake. Baby sis kissed big sis on the head, and said goodbye. She then looked at me and said, “walk?” We left the room, walked some more.

As I left the hospital last night, I wasn’t sure how to express my own feelings. My heart was heavy for this sweet family. Instantly I was so thankful that they were good members of the church, that the Bishop was there to help and guide them. I knew in my soul that they would be okay.

Mom is expecting another baby – maybe that was all a part of the plan. They will be blessed with a perfect little angel soon.

Sweet little Gwen struggled in this life. She was born deaf and blind, with numerous other genetical problems. Her parents were amazing and the love that they had for her shown through every movement they made with her. I often saw them taking the girls for walks along the River trail. They would stop in my office and get suckers and visit.

I feel so blessed to have known this sweet little angel.

Good bye sweet girl.

luv'n the small things

"Scentportables"
Have you seen these fun new things?  They are for your car, closet, pantry, garbage can, ect...

I stopped in at Bath and Body last week and saw these cute little things, and since they were on sale, I GOT 2.  I have one in my car, and the other in Joslynns closet (her feet stink).

They are so dang cute, and you can purchase the little refillables.

just something small to make me smile.

Have a great weekend!

grab a tissue

Through one of my freinds blog, I found this story.  Touching and heartwrenching, but lovely.  I hope you enjoy the little things in life today.

http://enjoyingthesmallthings.blogspot.com/2010/01/nella-cordelia-birth-story.html

a little help here, please!

Okay all you bloggers. and blog stalkers...I NEED SOME HELP!  Jayson and I will be celebrating our 10yr. anniversary this March.  Every year were going to do something "great" and never get to it.  We end up going to dinner here in little Cache Valley, and going home to the kids.
We have been throwing some ideas around like...
1. Oregon Coast road trip
2. Cruise...is a 3 day cruise worth it?
3. Vegas (we LOVE vegas)
4. Jackson Hole...but it's the Hillclimbs

Were open to just about anything.  Were both willing to take a few days off work, so something around 4-5 day trip total.  And of course, we just built a house, so nothing to extremely expensive.  Road trips can be so fun - if you know where you are going, or what you'd like to see.
Tell me places you've been, things you've seen, or places you would love to go!

PS - my next post will be...WHO WANTS TO BABYSIT MY KIDS, while were gone? :)

ONLY ONE

SUPER BOWL XLIV...

2 teams,
ONLY ONE champ!

New Orleans Saints

VS

Indianapolis Colts

ohhhhh Peyton....

(My Dad's a Colts fan, so I'll be cheering for them.)

Slumber Party

Oh how I love a good slumber party, but I am a little too old for that now.  Now I have the adult versions of a Slumber Party.
As most of you are aware, I like to host parties...:)  One of my favorite is Slumber Parties.  If any of you have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, you most likely know what this is.  If you have ever been to one of these parties, you also know that it is NOT just about bedroom toys.  If you have NEVER been to one of these parties...YOU NEED TO!  These girls are trained to be "relationship counselors."  Everything from a keychain to power tools.  I have been to some that were not so tasteful, and some that felt as if I just attended marriage and sexual therapy.
For those of you who are interested,

WERE HAVING A PARTY!

Where : Riverwalk Apartments Clubhouse - 781 S Riverwalk Dr. (Golf Course Road)

When : Saturday, February 23

Time : 6:00

*Just in time for Valentines*

Jaime will have a huge inventory, so be prepared to take home your purchases.

The Plan

It's funny the things we choose to remember in life. The events, the exact thought or moments. January 19 will ALWAYS be a day of remembrance. January 19, 2007 I lost my mother, my best friend. She wasn't always my best friend...we had our days. If I could take back just one of those bad days today I would. I was a mean, stubborn, rude teenager who knew everything. No one could tell me what to do or how the choices I was making would affect me forever.


My mother was a saint. I am positive that she was one of the chosen few sent down to this earth on a mission. A mission of love, acceptance and happiness. She completed it and returned to our Heavenly home.

I tell myself daily that it is all a part of the plan. This was the plan. She completed her task here on earth, and returned home at her chosen time. It was not my choice when her mission was complete. I wish I could have picked that time, knew it was coming, and had some warning.

As most things in life, we have no warnings. Things happen and we have to be prepared. When we will lose something or someone is unknown. We need to be prepared - but how do you prepare for death?

The day my mother passed away is a day that runs through my head constantly. I can tell you specific things about the early hospital visit for her heart stress test, helping her into the car, calling my dad to say hi, the stop light we sat at, the conversation as we walked into The Old Grist Mill for lunch, the Diet Coke I bought at "the old" Maceys, the color of her shirt, shutting the door, Elizabeth yelling something was wrong, the sound of her last breath, administering CPR with my very dear friend Devin, the 3 EMT's, the sound of my father’s voice on the other end of the phone line, my little sister collapsing in my arms, calling my brother and sister, Jennifer and I embracing in the ER parking lot, Andrew holding up my father, touching her, leaving her, driving home alone, phone calls, feeling the love of others, feeling alone, telling my children, crying, understanding, explaining, sleepless nights on the couch at my dads, never wanting to go home, dressing my mother in her temple clothes, family, friends, crying, screaming into the heavens, wondering why today, why now?

Many of us have lost someone that we love very much - family, friend, a pet, a neighbor. Each person/thing can play an important role to us. How we take the events and learn from them is up to us. I take my mother’s death as an experience to learn from. I could have crumbled and died the day my mother left this earth, but I didn't. I have a family, children, a husband, and my dad. I chose to remember her - each moment that she gave me. Advice about marriage, kids, love, acceptance, the gospel, the plan.

Since my mother’s death I have become closer to those who have always been in my life. People that I took for granted, people I never spoke to, people I never appreciated and loved. I forgave those I thought had done me wrong, only to realize that It was my own stubbornness. I have a closer bond to my father than ever before.

I believe in the plan, I know the plan.

But, I still miss her!

I love you mom, until we meet again....

Attila the Hun

If any of you would like some info on Attila the Hun, I am a PRO! Until last night I wasn't even sure who this was. Jayson had to tell me that he was a character in Night at the Museum...oh...THAT Attila the Hun...DUH! (the Chinese lookin dude, that's mean). Attila was the fierce 5th century leader of the barbarian group known as the Huns who struck fear in the hearts of the Romans as he plundered everything in his path, invaded the Eastern Empire and then crossed the Rhine into Gaul. He was the most feared King of the Huns. Some say that he was a God, others called him the Scourge of God. He died by drinking too much. Attila passed out flat on his back. It was then and there that Attila had a massive nosebleed which caused him to choke on his own blood, on his wedding night!
Joslynn is FAILING, yes BIG FAT F...in 4 CLASSES! How do you fail 4 of your 5 classes? It has been an ongoing struggle with us. In fact, Jayson and I fight over this problem most. Last Sunday was the big one. Yes people, I told him I was done! I had a BAD cold, I was tired, my body ached, Ashton and Addy just wanted to be loved, and we were fighting. Fighting about Joslynns grades. She didn't care...she was in her room. So why were we in such a big fight over her grades if she doesn't care?
I spent the night on the couch (I actually love sleeping on the couch), and didn't sleep AT ALL. Between the cold, and wanting to beat Jayson in his sleep, I just stayed up all night trying to figure this out in my head.
Monday was ROUGH, but thanks to my dear friend, she talked me through it. She made me realize that I need to let Jayson handle Joslynn. As much as I love her and do not want her to fail, Jayson needs to take care of it. I have to step back, and let Jos make her own choices.
*She is currently grounded from her IPod, cell phone, TV, Computer, "going out," home phone, and pretty much anything else you can think of, and she doesn't even care!*
I came home Monday, hashed it out with Jayson and then informed both Jayson and Joslynn that I loved them both very much, but mentally I can not be evil step-mom, or the only one who takes care of Joslynn anymore. I told both of them to talk between each other to figure out shit, that It was no longer my problem!
so....a week went buy, and I said nothing...one whole week! You have to realize what this means for me to shut up for a week! Yesterday was parent teacher conf. Ashton and Addy went to the sitter, and Joslynn GOT to come to work with me so she could sit in the back office ALL day and do supervised homework. On the way to work, I was compelled to stop in at MC for parent-teach conf (shocked the holy hell out of Jos). I AM SO GLAD WE WENT! Her teachers were nice enough to go to the classrooms and get all of her missing assignments. I wasn't upset, I didn't really even say anything. She got in the car and started to cry. She told me how sorry she was, and that she knew she could do better.
5 hours later, and a gazillion assignments later, we started to work on the report due..TODAY! Why would you NOT wait until the last minute to do a report that needs 6 sources? Hence, Attila the Hun.
At 1:30 am we finished...Jos and I...learning, writing, and discussing Attila the Hun. What did I get - a big HUG, and a "thanks for saving my butt!" I didn't even get mad last night. It was good. We connected. She asked. She was thankful. Jayson was thankful. I was tired. And today my friends, is a new day!
Maybe I'm a little "Attila." To some I am a God, to others they fear me. Oh, how I wish people thought I was a God.